Letting the wind hit my face……..

Over the past few weeks, my life has transcended many levels. Some good, some bad, sad; then some simply magical-fantasy ridden experiences. Initially I begin with the fluctuations of my moods and my need to be independent from all. My fear of being caught in the midst of my emotional upheavals and doubt. I can honestly say that my heart has trembled with confusion and excitement and genuine surprise these past few weeks. I have learned many valuable lessons all in such a short span of time. They say time is of essence; however, time not experienced and lived is of deprivation to one’s mind and soul. I allowed myself to peak outside of those invisible barriers and life borders I drew up. Written in a world of turmoil, love lusting lost as never before. I decided to take my shades off and just be. Just be what I know I am and can never change for. I allowed myself to smile and embrace a gift of companionship and company. To be viewed by another as a good companion, someone to talk and experience life not through but with, appeased me more and more. Never before have I let go as much. I let alone all the pretention and preconceived notations about what exactly I am suppose to be feeling and experiencing at this and at the time I was experiencing it-moment.

You engulfed me……
I slept and you stayed with me. Form fitting to me so perfectly, it felt as if we molded and melded always. I slept and even snored, tossed and turned and perhaps was wavier than an ocean experience; however, you waded with me. I slept like never before. Well rested and content to just be in your arms. Passionately exfoliated by your tenderness and caring mode afforded more walls to come right on down. To be embraced and caressed like no other, and then passionately and tenderly dug into like no other, heat and fire all throughout me and transferring to you. Sweat, even tears of surprise and joy. Riveting was the experience. Emblazoned forever my passion for you………

They say no time is best as right now……
History does repeat itself, but lately it’s been fashioning an entirely new twist. This history lesson has allowed me to see growth and changes, and not necessarily stamp a path and or pattern down. History has allowed me to get over my resentment of not being chosen by you. Oh yeah, I held a grudge all this time. Even writing about it, I laugh to myself. I wondered and still wonder…why now? Why not then…..I am awaiting an explanation from you……However, I am listening and continually learning and am open to you. For I was closed off and looking for self this and independence that, but there is nothing like needing and wanting and needing to be needed by someone. I need and want that.

Lesson Twenty Four: A break from it all……..
Time is the ultimate healer and concealer of passions. Time also allowed growth and changes and life to continue to present itself. In time I have seen you grow and change, and from this I have gathered that perhaps there are many things that have stayed the same. Perhaps the break from it (us) all allowed us to coexist and make attempts at being.......

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