Im ready for you!
Dear transitional me….I am writing you this letter to let you know that although you have fears, and also, possible self sabotaging tendencies; you will make it through and be ok. If you think about it, life is a fairy tale, constantly being written and re-written. Your dreams are lived out vicariously through your resting soul from 12 am until 6am. Your fears, inhibitions and humanistic tendencies to remain safe, stable and uninterrupted, all of these experiences and feelings are to be laid to rest. I am writing you to let you know that you will reach out to yourself, and be the stable stall worth figure I know you to be. Your fears, trials and tribulations are to be eased, as you make your way through this world. I am telling you that one year of your life is not a lifetime. Taking a day to rest and think is easily approved and smiled upon, even taking one to two weeks of vacation is to be expected, but a year of your time rattles your brain, causing rampant feelings of anxieties and insecurities. Face them I say. Challenge yourself. A year is nothing, but a blink in your life. A life that has been through sacrifices, loss of love, family members and at times life stability. I struggled. I cringed whenever I couldn’t find a way to make ends meet, however, I made it through these rough times, and I am standing tall and still. So what makes this time any different than before? So you….I write to you asking you to be free with your mind and thoughts, to allow yourself to experience and dream and sacrifice. Begin anew, re-create and balance you. Count all of your blessings and continue to have faith and dream. I am living within a battle immersed is my soul in my modern day reality. As I step fourth I break free, as free as I am I still am bounded by life lessons and assumed fates, but slowly and surely I am moving forward. So you as I write this and you as you read this challenge and dare yourself. Transcend and transform. Creativity is the key, optimism is the medicine required to continue the movement. Stray you will never be. Easily forgotten and impossible to see, you will never be. Realistically fluent, gifted and blessed you will always be.
There is more of a pull behind this move. There is more of a need to be there. New Orleans has beckoned and called me. In her most dire times and pained memories, I researched and read up on her, and finally graced Louis Armstrong airport with my appearance and most recent heartfelt thoughts to the musical inclined, mystical city. Her charm and color and traumatic and triumphant history calls to me. Trapped and captivated was my heart and soul by the cities mysticism. My eyes lit up as a child’s eyes on Christmas day. As I walked Canal and Bourbon streets, in the heart of the French Quarters I began searching. I have no idea what exactly I was searching for, but the calm and solemn came into my heart and mind. I began to ease my mind and my life’s mind of the daily burdens and stressor that has inhabited me as I resided in New York City. Although this was a brief week trip out of my hectic everyday in my life, I made this retreat feel as if it was a lifetime enjoyment. Passing the tourist and natives on the street, hearing the twang of the legendary Cajun talk. I felt at home and at ease, so as I lay myself to sleep at while I was resting in my queen –sized hotel bed I said “One day I will come back home”. To myself I considered New Orleans home already. I already began to envision myself awaking to a morning in New Orleans, walking to the local hang out spot for breakfast, legs crossed, sipping my mocha café, listening to select jazz tunes of local and imports to the city. Walking in the misty, humid and rain dewed city of downtown New Orleans. Bopping to the beat of my own drums.
2010 provided many tremendous blessed trips and I visited New Orleans and fell back in love with her. In 2011 I decided that we aren’t to be far or away from each other any longer or anymore. I am courting the city that slips its visitors into intoxicating trances. I am courting an uncertain, unplanned and thrown into the middle of it all type of future. I am asking for you to be gentle and kind with me for there is something beckoning to me in the dark……
So as I enter an unknown world and experience I know that you wait for me. I also know that you continue to desire and want me. I also know that you are my destiny, throughout all the trials and tribulations and struggles you have made it clear to me that you need me and I need you. I am appreciative and blessed to have you in my life and in my heart, continuing to guide me throughout these experiences. You are the shadow that casts no clouds over my existence. You assist me and further my intentions on success. You bring out the biggest and brightest me. For that I am thankful. Although I endless chase the ones who deserve nothing but a passing by gesture from me, you continue to remain patient and responsive. I cut off all communications with you, but you welcome a month(s) delayed text back with opened arms. Your love has risen and rose for me, and for that I am coming home.
Lesson Sixty Two: Let life guide and direct you…..
Life continues to belt out many ranges of happenings, however, each life lesson is received many ways, and for this lesson I need to be mindful of everything that’s being shown and given to me. I am taking the necessary leaps and risks to see something be attained and come to fruition. Opening your heart and mind, and releasing the tension and stress is opening a pathway of acceptance and beginning to the beautiful aspects of the stagnant held life we all maintain on a daily basis. Why remain unkind to our dreams. Turning everything received into a reality and for that I am hopeful.