Having almost talked myself out of a date, I decided to give this date a chance and not be overly judgemental or entirely uninterested. By the grace of nature and the happenings of modern technology and a schedule that continues to grow, with too many things to do during the day, and so little down time to rest and relax and regroup.
So I rescheduled my date from yesterday to today. I actually felt a little bad, that I allowed life and the many occurences to dictate my time. I am the one looking and seeking companionship, and when offered the opportunity to get to know a new person and start fresh with no doubts or in betweens, I bombed! However, Mr. New called, and he was ok with rescheduling, and actually he wanted to hang out today (the following day) which led me to believe that he was very interested in meeting with me. So I approved, and am actually looking forward to meeting him.

I made amends with a lover from the past, knowing that we left each other on good terms, and although we remain in love with each other, at this moment and time, having a relationship probably isn't possible. Visiting each other, and beginning anew and again, seems to be a more accurate display of our love and affections and attentions. The question I pose to myself is, am I able to balance this love act? Will I be seeking and searching for more? I am able at this time now to say that I am aware of the love and relationship I want for myself and my life, and although I love him, I can't have the type of relationship I would want with him just now. It may or may not occur, however, I am not remaining optimistically challenged, I am remaining realistically appealing!

So I decided to try dating websites, and also, new forms and venues of dating and I have concluded that the dating websites aren't for me, and also, meeting friends from friends through friends is ok at times, but not appealing. So just how and where do I meet these amazing characters, who may write a piece and response in my life? I am trusting that it will occur, and when it occurs I will know. I was once told that my "hippie" thoughtset of "it will be will be" isn't logical or even for that matter practical, but it has worked out at best and well for me, you see I know and feel my love, and my love and strength for and towards another. I trust my instincts and don't doubt myself at all. For with each passing day he sways closer and closer to me......

A calm has settled and come over me. I am ready and relaxed and willing to take my time. I value the importance and life lessons I have been taught, and I use to test and doubt myself, however, no longer. I am very proud of myself, and also, I look forward to the many learned life lessons!


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