Tuesday, May 22, 2012

#SelfTruth

My reality of the fact of the matter is my affinity and affections for you. The issue that I am having with self is basically that I can’t seem to shake the feeling of you. No matter how much I attempt to see the demise in my affections, or think of worst case scenarios as the outcome of my relationship with you, there is nothing that seems to set apart the most intimate and connecting pieces of us two. I am crying as I type because the fact of the matter is I need you……… I realized that love may present itself to us in many ways, shapes and forms. I have reached my love for another and tumultuous as the experience has been I am unable to contain and control it as I once thought. The fact that I am facing is that everyone is not necessarily arriving on the emotional love train at the same time. Could you imagine if everyone loved each other at the same pace and speed and in the same time? Wow is all I could say to that imagined dream. But right now I am thinking about being honest and true with myself. Covering you up with the figments of others doesn’t hold me. I may attempts at starting over, romancing someone else and even looking for that felt love experienced with someone else, but it is never there and I can’t continue to pull the shade over my own eye. Looking for someone else to fill the vibrational field of emotions I have gathered with you doesn’t touch or paint the surface of any experience in comparison to you. I have loved before, but no love is similar and resembles any other. Never disregarding the experiences of others in my life, I bowed out gracefully to them. The uniqueness experienced with you is a confessional. From the bottom of my heart to the center of my mind, the two have come together and at this moment I am not worried or concerned about what anyone else may think or feel as I personalize these emotions, a battle of sorts that has run it’s tide with truth and false. A battle LED BY LOVE, which has challenged me to never forget it and let it go. I am blessed and fortunate to have the ability to express my emotions and feelings as such, and although life remains a challenge in the minds eye I am willing and able to face my future.

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