Drawn Out?

Having a cup of coffee with the opposite sex doesn’t grant a relationship. Exchanging personal information about yourself in regards to your individual likes and dislikes and current interests does not solicit the start of romantic talks and your individual yearns for more. Having that first initial date, link up, meet up or whatever safe word you like to use to describe a date or appeal of interest in your opposite sex does not mean anything more than what it is an was; just a date with the opposite sex. The issue at hand is learning how to date with interest and a design on learning as much as possible about your date as you plan on spending and making more time with them. Continually I tell myself to take my time and control my emotional sense and self. One cannot help but look for love in all the wrong places, hoping that each door opened and opportunity knocked could be that illusive jackpot at the end of the rainbow and you might ask yourself “Was there ever a rainbow?” One would never know because you have become a bundle of anxious ridden emotions. So where does this leave and lead me? Nostalgic moments that may resemble the days of assumed love or even at times lust. You become a serial dater of sorts and look for the slightest head nod and winked intentions. Love becomes a common word searched for. You cease it and attempt to hold it hostage. So when looking upon your date and assumed new interest at whatever life point you have reached, you just can’t help but sense for that blissful moment in time when your imagination has beckoned fourth an untold truth of sorts. Call it a life dream, or a drawn out day dream, but whatever you may call it just know that your heart remains in search of and in need of, and until it has obtained and secured what it was looking for you will always remain in the dreaded in between state of appeal and interest. So how can you remain balanced? As impossible and unpredictable as this experience may seem, I find myself wanting to delve a lot deeper into the depths of these emotions and more. I want to learn what triggers my push to want more from these interactions. It seems as if I will continually search for that instant and immediate spark. Love may be illusive, but it’s never ending. As optimistic and hopeful as I will ever be L.O.V.E.

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