Battling feelings of indifference and ineptitude and struggling to remain on top is what has consisted of the start to my month of May. It has been a challenge and numerous ideas have run through and through my mind, however, nothing has planted and enlightened seed as of yet. Having started with an amazing and interesting April, I have almost wanted the glow to continue, but it started to fizzle and fade and my productivity has gone alongside with it, but do I want to give up and in to this need and feelings? Something that has comforted me many times, rising on top and riding that wave, but becoming frazzled in times of strife and struggle and fizzling out along with my wishful dreams and thoughts. Do I predict this for now? Is this something that is predictive of me and my present state and mind? To worry and have anxiety can right off many sensations all at once, but this was once me and I no longer live and accept my past doings as present predictors. So I accepted a former fate, but am not allowing it to present itself than any longer than needed. Awaking an inner me that was the silent sleeping Dragon for years has allowed me to gather myself and return the dedication and strength. Not allowing a struggle to be completely forgotten of its intensity and mission. So writing about my romantic woes and up and down’s has alleviated a lot of issues that I was previously experiencing, and has allowed my dating and love life experiences to be ever present and very strong thus far. I have freed up a lot of concerns, and forgiven a lot of wrongs that I have righted. Reducing the risk of completely returning back to a previous situation or allowing the start of a once resembled relationship to get the best and better or me. I have grown stronger emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. Accepting of the fitting behavior and the people who are representative of what I need and will want in my present LIFE. So I am not afraid of the melancholic moments, or the times when I am doubting or experiencing a writing downward spiral that will eventually lead me into an upward swirl. So I welcome all the feelings and emotions that come with this lifestyle I am seeking to gather and build strength on and project. Mind and heart and logic and love will always run hand in hand.

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